Its a start of a new term :/

Tomorrow is day 1 of term 2 :/ Sure doesn't feel like it. The two terms just seems continuous. Well. I don't think I'm going to like term 2 very much. Firstly, one term closer to Os means 10times more work. Secondly, the coming of May signifies that it is time to step down  D: CCA is pretty much the only fun thing left in school. Other than friends maybe.
One happy thing is carnival I guess.

Anyway, I was standing at the door of the clubhouse listening/watching Ming sing I won't give up with Sean guitaring. I felt a sudden funny feeling. I've really always wanted to play guitar in front of an audience, although my skills are probably not the best. I plan to learn and further my guitar skills after Os. Theres so many things I want to do after Os. Like not forgetting to go back to help out with FLL. Anyway, back to the point. Me and XingYun considered contributing an item to some kind of fundraising concert but I don't think they need any performers anymore.
I have to admit, I'm pretty much under the shadow of my performer friends most of the time. I read back into a note that Yuting wrote back in sec one before we changed classes. Apparantly, I'm quite different from the friends in my clique. Well, then I think she meant it in terms of fangirling over guys but now, I think this still holds quite true for many areas. Most of my friends have performed items on stage, in front of an audience or are in a performing arts CCA and I'll have to say I've always been part of the audience. I'm not complaining tho. I'm not much of a singer. Neither have I danced for 3 years now. (apart from talenttime, which was a compulsory thing) To be honest though, I do miss dance. But if I go back to the Beijing Dance Academy Curriculum, I'll probably be the only 16 year old in a 13 year old class. Nah, but I don't think I would be quite comfortable singing or dancing in front of an audience right now.

Anyway, I was talking to Xinying the other day. Can't remember when, i think it was during breakfast of the CCA camp. I told her that it was hard to look happy when I'm actually not quite feeling 100% happy. That day MingXuan said I can't be 自卑 otherwise everyone else will be too. Thats quite true. Unhappiness is contagious. And so is happiness. So I think I rather think of happy things and be happy.

Still, too many things on my mind! One of my closest friends said that I lied all the time. I literally felt my heart breaking. I can't remember doing so. Well. Maybe. If lying that I'm feeling ok after the saturday of FLL is considered a lie. It was a white lie I guess. (refering to the paragraph above this one). haha, reminds me, it was raining really heavily that day. I still wonder whether Carmen was kidding about that umbrella to cheer me up or whether she was serious xD . Now I know what to ask the next time we play truth. xD