I'm back to rant. FLL is over. And thats a weight off my shoulders.
We didn't get the championship though, 6-year defending champion, finally beaten :P Nevertheless, I am still proud of EF and CC. We did brilliant in anyway!
But I can't deny it wasn't disappointing xP My heart totally sank when I heard our team name earlier than we are used to. I can understand why my junior was so disappointed. T.T Then when I checked my phone, all the comforting messages came in but somehow that made me feel even T.T
Right now, I've kinda gotten over it. And I'm really happy that one of our teammates has been chosen to go to America with the winning team :)) Though she may not go, it is a sign that she has what it takes! EF is proud of you! :))
The thing that is worrying my right now is my grades. I have failed 2 math tests and I am seriously worried. Chemistry wasn't any better. In fact, I think I might have gotten the lowest in class. :'( I don't want my mum/dad to attend PTD. Maybe I shouldn't have been so caught up with the competition, (not that I'm blaming it)
And I feel really bad now because I walked out on one of my best friends. I really didn't mean it but I felt it might have prevented my from arguing further or something. Honestly, I really wanted to cry when I heard such a statement made in front of me. :'( It was one of my more sensitive spots. I hope all the drama in school ends soon.
I miss the seniors so so much!
ALRIGHT. Depressing stuff aside, I am playing guitar for class CIP :)))) awesome awesome! :D I hope they don't change their mind about letting me play though, hopefully I will play well tomorrow.
Another good thing is that I defintely don't hate studying anymore. In fact, I have been considering to take the safe path and go to JC --- ACJC/AJ mayyyyyyybe NJ. If I do score well enough. But I shall not think about that now and just focus on my Os.
Anyway, the Musical that Brenda invited me and a few other friends to was really a good reminder of God's presence amidst this turmoil. Though we appear to face all kinds of bad stuff, God is always providing for us.
And also., the song "voice of truth" is exceptionally inspiring to me.
Tuesday, 21 February 2012
Saturday, 4 February 2012
back again?
I expected I would blog about my trip to Australia since it was such a good time..ah well but never found the time or the determination to do so. Yet when I am back blogging so suddenly, you know its because I need to rant. -.-
nah..I wouldn't say I;m emotional or depressed or upset or anything. Just really really really deep in thought. So I have to apologize to the math teachers for that permenantly blank look I have on my face the past lessons.
FLL is coming. Again. I can still remember how it was like last year. It felt like only a few months ago. I can feel that same determination rise up inside again. Although my team did not win anything last year. The amount of things I learnt and the experiences I had was amazing. Frankly external fusion 2011 was an inspiration. I think we have to live up to that name. In less than a week, we'll be back at the Science centre defending that 6 year long championship. I thought last year was hard but apparantly I am quite wrong. This year is like a journey to the Land of far far away in Shrek the Movie or something. Its really not just the workload but a whole lot more is involved.
Right now, as I said, I am not feeling depressed or emotional or angry or any negative feeling. No actually I'm not sure if it is a negative feeling. I am feeling burdened. Maybe I think too much. And too little at the same time. Academics is not longer my thing. It was like, 10 thousand years ago since I stood on stage, with that prefect's tie neatly positioned on my uniform and holding that little red popular voucher and the certificate that signified academic achievement. Well, but what is past is past. Studies is just one of what I have been pondering about. (Not one of the tests I took since school reopened went particularly well)
Second, I haven't had the time to make any videos for my youtube account. The suscriber count is at 512. Lost about 30 or so from not posting much but thats okay. I mean, its kinda comforting in a way that 512 people around the world know you and appreciate what you do. Then, there will be those HATERS. Who just love hating. Ah well, youtube is part of the real world too O.O
Next on, (yea theres more) so many things have been happening around me. There are people who i really care for and really want to help but sometimes I just can't. The other day, someone said I was strong. No, not really. You never know what its like inside. Sometimes, it really does feel like you're hardly in control of anything. Recently, stuff on facebook is beginning to bug me a little. They suddenly seem so superficial. I just realised that the two sentences before this one does not link at all xD haha.
But I have to admit, I have never been so lost and scared before until recently. Some stuff happened recently and it was so scary and I just felt like -- I'm too young to handle this. But the adults do not understand. I can't tell and it seemed like its all up to me now. One wrong move and it could make a whole difference. I was honestly and practically scared to the point that I was shaking and can't stand still . Maybe I overreacted/am overreacting.
Friends are indeed very important at this stage. I love my friends as long as they are my friends :))) That was mushy. But YEA I DO! Thats why I always have that habit of telling them "watch the roaddd!!!!" whenever we leave. Its funny really. I'm thankful for awesome friends that are there to hear me out. Funny how its actually harder to talk to the friends I always hang out with. Not that they are not good listeners cause I do confide to them and they are willing to listen but its just that different feel. People who know me would probably realise that I characteristically can't speak very clearly.Which explains the TSUNAMI of words once I come and rant on the blog. I found out recently that I have a characteristically wierd walk as well. Its no wonder my closest friends call me wierd. heh. Its not a bad thing altogether. I can't describe it...hmm..
Another important thing, I'm not religious. I just live by what I believe in. And one thing that is really keeping me going recently is "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 cor. 10: 13. Temptations referring to trails/ difficulties.
Suddenly I don't know how to conclude this. hahaha. tsk..its back to math and chemistry and fll then. EF, CC FTW <3 Sigh, honestly robotics is the only thing that I find harder to let go when I graduate. Somehow, CCA and the people in it seems to have a stronger attachment to you. Just like how I still miss dance and calligraphy. But seems like robotics and its members and the memories and experiences will stick longer. Since I'm older when I experienced gym and then robotics.
Awkward conclusion..XD
So anyway, I would just want to thank those that listened to me rant and if you actually came here to read it then thanks for hearing me out and always being available to listen and being supportive right now. I wish I could be equally helpful to you guys at some point. And I'll be really impressed if you actually read that whole chunk or rubbish rant up there.
nah..I wouldn't say I;m emotional or depressed or upset or anything. Just really really really deep in thought. So I have to apologize to the math teachers for that permenantly blank look I have on my face the past lessons.
FLL is coming. Again. I can still remember how it was like last year. It felt like only a few months ago. I can feel that same determination rise up inside again. Although my team did not win anything last year. The amount of things I learnt and the experiences I had was amazing. Frankly external fusion 2011 was an inspiration. I think we have to live up to that name. In less than a week, we'll be back at the Science centre defending that 6 year long championship. I thought last year was hard but apparantly I am quite wrong. This year is like a journey to the Land of far far away in Shrek the Movie or something. Its really not just the workload but a whole lot more is involved.
Right now, as I said, I am not feeling depressed or emotional or angry or any negative feeling. No actually I'm not sure if it is a negative feeling. I am feeling burdened. Maybe I think too much. And too little at the same time. Academics is not longer my thing. It was like, 10 thousand years ago since I stood on stage, with that prefect's tie neatly positioned on my uniform and holding that little red popular voucher and the certificate that signified academic achievement. Well, but what is past is past. Studies is just one of what I have been pondering about. (Not one of the tests I took since school reopened went particularly well)
Second, I haven't had the time to make any videos for my youtube account. The suscriber count is at 512. Lost about 30 or so from not posting much but thats okay. I mean, its kinda comforting in a way that 512 people around the world know you and appreciate what you do. Then, there will be those HATERS. Who just love hating. Ah well, youtube is part of the real world too O.O
Next on, (yea theres more) so many things have been happening around me. There are people who i really care for and really want to help but sometimes I just can't. The other day, someone said I was strong. No, not really. You never know what its like inside. Sometimes, it really does feel like you're hardly in control of anything. Recently, stuff on facebook is beginning to bug me a little. They suddenly seem so superficial. I just realised that the two sentences before this one does not link at all xD haha.
But I have to admit, I have never been so lost and scared before until recently. Some stuff happened recently and it was so scary and I just felt like -- I'm too young to handle this. But the adults do not understand. I can't tell and it seemed like its all up to me now. One wrong move and it could make a whole difference. I was honestly and practically scared to the point that I was shaking and can't stand still . Maybe I overreacted/am overreacting.
Friends are indeed very important at this stage. I love my friends as long as they are my friends :))) That was mushy. But YEA I DO! Thats why I always have that habit of telling them "watch the roaddd!!!!" whenever we leave. Its funny really. I'm thankful for awesome friends that are there to hear me out. Funny how its actually harder to talk to the friends I always hang out with. Not that they are not good listeners cause I do confide to them and they are willing to listen but its just that different feel. People who know me would probably realise that I characteristically can't speak very clearly.Which explains the TSUNAMI of words once I come and rant on the blog. I found out recently that I have a characteristically wierd walk as well. Its no wonder my closest friends call me wierd. heh. Its not a bad thing altogether. I can't describe it...hmm..
Another important thing, I'm not religious. I just live by what I believe in. And one thing that is really keeping me going recently is "And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." 1 cor. 10: 13. Temptations referring to trails/ difficulties.
Suddenly I don't know how to conclude this. hahaha. tsk..its back to math and chemistry and fll then. EF, CC FTW <3 Sigh, honestly robotics is the only thing that I find harder to let go when I graduate. Somehow, CCA and the people in it seems to have a stronger attachment to you. Just like how I still miss dance and calligraphy. But seems like robotics and its members and the memories and experiences will stick longer. Since I'm older when I experienced gym and then robotics.
Awkward conclusion..XD
So anyway, I would just want to thank those that listened to me rant and if you actually came here to read it then thanks for hearing me out and always being available to listen and being supportive right now. I wish I could be equally helpful to you guys at some point. And I'll be really impressed if you actually read that whole chunk or rubbish rant up there.
Sunday, 1 January 2012
10 things to Thank God for in 2011
1. For bringing me though my studies in sec 3 despite my "diedie zhuangzhuang"
2. For blessing me with a patient and understanding tuition teacher.
3. For giving me the chance to serve Him in prayer ministry and Camp comm.
4. For helping me survive OBS xD
5. For helping me through difficult times as a peer leader.
6. For helping me take up the habit of saying Grace
7. For bringing me to CG more often
8. For my sister who is constantly supporting me
9. For my parents' health and happiness
10. For bringing me closer to Him through prayer.
On the whole, its been a brilliant 2011. Though there are difficult times, it was really quite a unique year filled with memorable moments.
2. For blessing me with a patient and understanding tuition teacher.
3. For giving me the chance to serve Him in prayer ministry and Camp comm.
4. For helping me survive OBS xD
5. For helping me through difficult times as a peer leader.
6. For helping me take up the habit of saying Grace
7. For bringing me to CG more often
8. For my sister who is constantly supporting me
9. For my parents' health and happiness
10. For bringing me closer to Him through prayer.
On the whole, its been a brilliant 2011. Though there are difficult times, it was really quite a unique year filled with memorable moments.
Friday, 23 December 2011
Time really passes quickly! I am already back from Adelaide. It was a wonderful and restful trip.
Things weren't how I imagined them. It was better :) I shall post a separate post about my trip.
Its almost the last week of the holidays yet I haven't completed my homework T.T Too busy with many many stuffs.
YM camp H2O was really enjoyable and it was really a great experience working with the camp comm. Thank God for giving me this chance to serve him through the camp :)
However, I do feel slightly burdened by a certain thought.
I think I have been spending much time with older people, more understanding people that my view of things have really changed. I can't seem to be able to connect with people of my age group in school that well anymore.(not saying that I am matured or anything) I am definitely in NO position to judge but I really can't seem to understand why they do certain things.
Makes me really want not to go to school next year :P
For the 100th time, I think Infocomm deserves more respect. Simple as that. There is absolutely no reason why we are less superior then other CCAs. We are not a "dumping ground" for all the students who have failed the auditions for other CCAs. Neither are we a "nerd CCA". These are actual quotes that people have said about our CCA. In actual fact, Infocomm takes in people who are passionate and love what they do. Without photographers, the only existing photos will be "ZI PAIed" photos. Disney and Pixar animators had to start small. And robotics, no bias here. But 6 consecutive years of championship is nothing to cough/sneeze at.
Anyway, the competition we join, FLL, requires the dicipline , alertness and coordination, as well as teamwork of sportspeople, fluency and passion of speech and delivery.
Robotics is a seriously underrated CCA.
Secondly, there are people who do things that are just wrong and disrespectful to themselves/their school and its just akoejkfo!!! Its not cool, its wrong and strange :/
Homework and study is not helping with Os coming next year. :P
However hard next year may seem, God will bring us through. Jia yous sec 4s of 2012!
Things weren't how I imagined them. It was better :) I shall post a separate post about my trip.
Its almost the last week of the holidays yet I haven't completed my homework T.T Too busy with many many stuffs.
YM camp H2O was really enjoyable and it was really a great experience working with the camp comm. Thank God for giving me this chance to serve him through the camp :)
However, I do feel slightly burdened by a certain thought.
I think I have been spending much time with older people, more understanding people that my view of things have really changed. I can't seem to be able to connect with people of my age group in school that well anymore.(not saying that I am matured or anything) I am definitely in NO position to judge but I really can't seem to understand why they do certain things.
Makes me really want not to go to school next year :P
For the 100th time, I think Infocomm deserves more respect. Simple as that. There is absolutely no reason why we are less superior then other CCAs. We are not a "dumping ground" for all the students who have failed the auditions for other CCAs. Neither are we a "nerd CCA". These are actual quotes that people have said about our CCA. In actual fact, Infocomm takes in people who are passionate and love what they do. Without photographers, the only existing photos will be "ZI PAIed" photos. Disney and Pixar animators had to start small. And robotics, no bias here. But 6 consecutive years of championship is nothing to cough/sneeze at.
Anyway, the competition we join, FLL, requires the dicipline , alertness and coordination, as well as teamwork of sportspeople, fluency and passion of speech and delivery.
Robotics is a seriously underrated CCA.
Secondly, there are people who do things that are just wrong and disrespectful to themselves/their school and its just akoejkfo!!! Its not cool, its wrong and strange :/
Homework and study is not helping with Os coming next year. :P
However hard next year may seem, God will bring us through. Jia yous sec 4s of 2012!
Thursday, 24 November 2011
3 more days to Adelaide!!
The trip is so close yet it seems so far but days are zooming past for me! That maybe doesn't make sense but oh well.
CCA has been keeping me mightly busy, taking up 3/4 of my day. I really need more self control to do my homework instead of crafting when I get home. But usually when I get back, I feel so tired and lazy that that is hardly possible.
Anyway, this week has been quite a turbulent week. Won't go into details now since I'll be heading for school soon. CCA starts only in an hour's time but I wanna get there early to settle my stuff and have some time left over to clean up the store room. Its driving me mad. (and its me I'm talking about here so thats saying somethingXD )
Back to the point, honestly, I don't think I am really as happy as I look in school sometimes. I try to be though. But when you try to be happy when you aren't completely and you overdo it, it tends to come out looking wierd and crazy.Like, suddenly skipping in the midst of walking hahahhaha. This sounds quite funny. No seriously, this isn't some emo post or rant, its just that sometimes there really are things that are bothering me that people in school either don't see or see just on the surface. So forgive the wierdness.
Back to happy things, I have won 2 clay contests on youtube and I'm awaiting my packages :)) And another squishy package which I ordered myself and intend to put it on sale. So many exciting things happening! Homework is such a party-pooper hahahahhaa XD.
Okay okay, its time to go if I want to have enough time to clean up.
CCA has been keeping me mightly busy, taking up 3/4 of my day. I really need more self control to do my homework instead of crafting when I get home. But usually when I get back, I feel so tired and lazy that that is hardly possible.
Anyway, this week has been quite a turbulent week. Won't go into details now since I'll be heading for school soon. CCA starts only in an hour's time but I wanna get there early to settle my stuff and have some time left over to clean up the store room. Its driving me mad. (and its me I'm talking about here so thats saying somethingXD )
Back to the point, honestly, I don't think I am really as happy as I look in school sometimes. I try to be though. But when you try to be happy when you aren't completely and you overdo it, it tends to come out looking wierd and crazy.Like, suddenly skipping in the midst of walking hahahhaha. This sounds quite funny. No seriously, this isn't some emo post or rant, its just that sometimes there really are things that are bothering me that people in school either don't see or see just on the surface. So forgive the wierdness.
Back to happy things, I have won 2 clay contests on youtube and I'm awaiting my packages :)) And another squishy package which I ordered myself and intend to put it on sale. So many exciting things happening! Homework is such a party-pooper hahahahhaa XD.
Okay okay, its time to go if I want to have enough time to clean up.
Sunday, 13 November 2011
CCA tomorrow
The weather is great now :) and its 13 days to the adelaide trip. :D:D
I am really glad that Chinese Os are over. Thank God.
This week is packed. Seriously packed. In fact, myholiday is packed. Theres CCA tomorrow but most of the sec threes are not there. But we're getting the play field tomorrow ! So exciting! But I doubt Laoshi will let us build the playfield since we are not in "our" room. Rawr, don't really like being in the library for long hours :( So little freedom. And you can't adjust the aircon.
Wednesday to Friday will be my pushcart course. I am quite excited but also a bit apprehensive since I am the only sec 3 there T.T
I am really glad that Chinese Os are over. Thank God.
This week is packed. Seriously packed. In fact, my
Wednesday to Friday will be my pushcart course. I am quite excited but also a bit apprehensive since I am the only sec 3 there T.T
Friday, 4 November 2011
First week of extended cirriculum is over! It was long and hard but its over! Thank God! Yesterday and Thursday were particulary hard because not only were the days long but I had to bear with my runny nose. It started on Thursday and then on Friday I was debating to myself on whether or not to go to school cause I started to get a headache along with the runny nose. After a long time, I packed 5 packets of tissue, a large bottle of vapourrub, strepsil and my jacket and went to school anyway. In the end, I had to get 2 more packs of tissue. By the last lesson, I felt like just falling asleep on the table :P Then towards the night I think I must have gotten a slight fever or something cause my head and body felt warm but my legs felt cold. So I just slept real early. Much better this morning but i think my voice still sounds a bit funny.
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