Thats fast. WRT is over.
Once again deep in thought after the incidents today.

I realised that I'm now/was? in a stage where acceptance was so important that I strayed off who I really am. And I realise I'm becoming more impulse and defensive. I guess its over the years, building up and just this year, I started to feel a need to stop getting trampled over, teased, and instead be recognised. I guess right now I am still in the journey of self discovery. But after today, I realised that it is seriously best to be who we really are. I read through my ISFJ profiling thingy and started to wonder if people saw that in me. And THEN, started to wonder if that was important 0.0

Alone at home again~
Sometimes I would want company, but today is one of the days that I am glad to have the peace and quiet.

I was looking through facebook and I feel kinda guilty for slacking so much this week. I wonder where I'll be  without study camp. O.O
I just received the PG seminar pack from TP last night. I'm quite excited about the campus tour.

Really Tired~
Been thinking about a lot of things today. Left retreat early to go to CIP but I kinda regretted it cuz the meeting wasn't as important and essential as they put it. But important anyways :/ I mean..yea..
Retreat was meaningful and fun. Better than the previous one I felt. Partially also because of the things that happened over the past year. Its nice yet not nice to think back.
And I think I was way too tired that I was having a lot a lot of messy thoughts in my head. Things have changed so much from how they used to be in the past :[
I wonder if I had become a better friend/person as I grow up. For some reason, that bothers me a lot.
I guess shes right. I'm just enjoying the attention. But that really bad and I feel kinda bad about it. I'm gonna start "afresh" from tomorrow on. Not gonna talk about it anymore.

Also, I realise that there are so much more to people that we don't know about. For some reason, due to my own experiences and thoughts, I can understand. Yet I don't know how to show it. I have never been good at words. And I'm not quite sure if anyone actually do take my letters seriously. Not that I'm doubting anyone but just wondering if it actually helped them. I really do think that helping people is important. But at the same time, I just wonder what I can do. I am well aware that I'm the weird one, especially in school, (nothing to be ashamed of, yet nothing to boast about)
I can hardly help my closest friends, who are a bunch of Kpop fanatics. but they are really a bunch of really nice people. Its hard to relate to them and makes me miss the days when conversation was not all about Kpop. Its perfectly fine to fangirl but I personally feel like sometimes, the line is crossed. I really cannot name a very close friend that is not into kpop.
I dunno but I find that sometimes, just sometimes, these things make things superficial. Not that the people are superficial but like I said, theres a limit. I mean I do personally have a favoured kpop band but I don't spend most of my time on it. Neither is it my topic of conversation 99% of the time. I feel..that there are more important things than that..
I don't hold anything against my friends who are fans of Kpop but yea, things did use to be different. And I "ownself" said it, times change and people change to adapt. Somehow this is where the world takes us.
As you can probably tell by now that this is one of the posts that I suddenly go super deep but this is what happens when I do reflect on stuff.

I guess its right that whatever we take for granted we would lose at some point or another, be it for a short time or for good. Except God. We've probably taken Him for granted loads of times but He's always there ready to have us back again.

Anyway, I still wonder what others see in me. And wonder if that is important. More than just a clumsy, goofy, slightly 'derpy' sotong I hope :'D Many people have told me that I'm too nice. Wonder what nice means actually. But like I mentioned last time, I think things would have been much easier if I was a little bit more normal?? I took the DISC test last night during retreat and Jo roughly helped me look through it and told me that the results are like hers. Which surprised me quite a bit. But I guess I'll only find out the results and the interpretation tomorrow.

This really is a very long post. Still pondering about a lot of things but I hope I can start to 'do better' tomorrow. I have been so caught up with work, social life that I have honestly forgotten what is truly important.

But I guess its not too late to change now. And hope that I bear this in mind. and not get too caught in social norms. Just to be normal. So sometimes, ironically, contradictoringly, its good to be weird.

Finally, its gonna be the holidays. Well, not exactly, I'll still be going to study camp for another week. But thats okay. I'm more productive there.
Its been really exhausting and I don't think I did well for my math mocks :( The others were okay I guess. The teachers gave us plenty of "presents" to last us through our holidays. And on the last day of EC, there was an education fair. Its kinda the first time the polys got the spotlight in school and that made me feel kinda comforted and happy.
I still really want to pursue the culinary arts and after reading through all the course booklets from the various school, I realised that TP is still the way to go. Although, if  I wanted to be a food scientist or go into business in general, I could go to SP or NYP.

I realise I haven't posted in awhile. Been really tired and busy with schoolwork. I practically slept the weekend away. Term 2 must have taken its toll on me o.0
Theres school for another three weeks. Oh well, at least theres one week holiday. Prob the best I'd ever get before Olevels end.
Study Camp has been alright, pretty productive, but draining too. And I think they're trying to make us fat with the food. O.O

Thursday was the last day in official training for SC robotics. Theres EEP next week but only a few will be there. Somehow, I didnt feel as sad as I thought I would. More of a sense of nostalgia and an odd sinking and empty-ish feeling. Sounds so melodramatic but yea. xD
I'll miss the collapsing cupboard door, the windmill built by the seniors, the props and box of art materials left behind by generations of seniors.
Robotics definitely taught me more than robotics. I guess I came in scared,afraid that I would face rejection once again but I'm glad I'm really wrong about that. I couldn't ask for better seniors and cca mates. I really did learn to open up gain more confidence and pretty much, discover the person I am. Both positive and negative O.o

Then yesterday(Friday) was sports fest. Scs first sports fest(in place of sports day and swim carnival). It was good that it allowed everyone to take part in interclass games but it could have been better. Many awkward sections. Good change though.

After sports fest, me, xy, mx, jo, vf and ac walked to serene centre. The macs there was sooooooo crowded O.o but we managed to get a seat. v and her sis had to leave first. :( We talked and eat and talked. Got a really bad headache halfway through xD  Must be from the sun earlier. After we were done we took a bus back to school for study camp. Poped by to talk to the juniors. See. Barely a day after stepping down and the seniors already 不放心　xD Sigh. A realise that CCA becomes an important part to a student since it sticks with you for 3-4 years, unlike class which you change almost every year. I was kinda apprehensive for my last day of cca when I heard about others'. Sounded so sad O.O ANYWAY, back to the point, after chatting with the juniors for a bit, we went back to study camp. The vp came in and was really glad to see us studying so she bought us ice cream xD thanks! Thats really nice of her. But after the ice cream I just didnt feel like eating the tea break curry puff anymore so I just made the "study camp chocolate cereal thing" everyone knew so well.
We talked about dreams during tea break. And I realised how scary dreams can be. I had many scary dreams come to think of it. Though I am still quite amused by the fact that I have a reccuring dream of jumping down two stories in a shopping mall and making a perfect landing.

Well, thats pretty much whats interesting this week.

Its a school holiday today. Honestly, surprisingly, I really wish there was study camp today :// I absolutely have no discipline.

This morning, I revisited the long lost joy of making miniatures. Tries making Toniellison's pizza but it didn't turn out quite nice as I wanted it. Probably from the lack of practice and the fact that I'm using ADC. I think polymer still works best for me but my mums not letting me get any until after Os. Wise decision i would say 0.0

I'm halfway through editting the mothers day video. Still lacking 7 messages. But I'm really quite excited for the release :D

Feeling kinda confused and thrown off track now. All that has been happening recently makes me wonder if I am really being too nice.Not being egoistic there. Oh, whoops suddenly lost my train of thought -.- will update when it comes back to me.